Drug Cartels do the Darndest Things!

As we all know, the president of Mexico (the man below who looks like one of the Death Star captains), Felipe Calderon, has been deploying Mexican troops throughout the country in an attempt to destroy the powerful cocaine, heroine, and well just about any drug you can imagine drug cartels that are spread throughout the region.

Calderon has deployed around 45,000 troops across the country since being elected in 2006 with the sole purpose of finding the drug cartel leaders, getting involved in intense gunfights with them, and in cases where everything turns out well, killing or arresting a few of them in the process. Calderon got just that on Wednesday December 17, 2009 when drug lord Arturo Beltran Leyva (Below, and no, it’s not Jeremy Piven with facial hair) was killed in one of those gun battles I was just talking about.

So how exactly did Arturo get to be the powerful drug lord he is, or should I say was, today? Well, it is the classic drug lord story! As a boy, all little Arturo dreamed about was being rich, powerful, rich (I know it’s there twice), and the owner of a closet full of cocaine and an attic full of heroine. It wasn’t until Joaquín Guzmán (look at the mugshot below) of the Sinaloa Cartel came along that Arturo got his first internship with a drug cartel, and what a drug cartel to get started in!

Juaquin Guzman-Loera.jpg

Little Arturo worked his way up the latter and became quite the little drug lord protege (no accent marks). It wasn’t until the leader of the Gulf Cartel, Osiel Cardenas (no picture available because it is disgraceful for a drug lord to actually be arrested), was arrested in 2003 that Arturo got his shot at his own cartel.

Mexican Royalty Free Stock Vector Art Illustration

He and his brothers split for the Sinaloa Cartel and began running the drug routes of northeastern Mexico. The split from the Sinaloa Cartel did not go well. Bloody battles have been fought between the two cartels in the past, but it looks as if that won’t be happening a whole lot in the near future. Arturo was at a party with fellow cartel friends in Cuernavaca, Mexico when the Mexican NAVY raided the place. A gun fight broke out and Arturo along with three other cartelvmembers were killed.

This is where things get interesting. Take a look at where Cuernavaca is located. You will find it just South of Mexico City in central Mexico and more importantly, not surrounded by water. Now when you think of a Navy you generally think of the ocean, warships, and possibly airplanes bombing Iraqi cities, right? So what exactly are the Mexican Naval forces doing in the mountainous regions of central Mexico raiding a drug lords birthday party? Who knows, but it is reported that nearly 200 SAILORS raided the party located in the MOUNTAIN town of Cuernavaca. But we never finished  Arturo’s story!!

When Arturo and his gang knew they were cornered it is reported that they began tossing grenades randomly at the sailors, however only one sailor was injured from the ordeal. As we now know little Arturo’s dream of being a rich and powerful drug lord came true! Though Arturo Beltran Leyva did not survive the raid he will be forever remembered in Mexican history. How so? He will be remembered as the highest – ranking drug cartel figure killed since Ramon Arellano Felix of the Tijuana Cartel was shot in 2002 by a police officer at the Mazatlan Resort!! So let’s all congratulate Arturo on this achievement!

Presidential Ghostbusting

Presidential Ghostbusting

It is common knowledge that the ghost of Abraham Lincoln can from time to time be seen around the White House.


Many people have claimed to have seen or interacted with Lincoln’s ghost throughout history. They include presidents Teddy Roosevelt, Hoover, and Truman, Queen Wilhelmina from the Netherlands, Ronald Reagan’s daughter and even Winston Churchill.


A secret branch of the F.B.I. has supposedly been tapped to investigate the matter. They handle what are known as the X- Files and have investigated into the mystery for months now.


The agents that worked the case have recently resigned and will say they will not go anywhere near the White House again. The F.B.I. then hired the pros. to finish the job.


Yes the Ghostbusters were called in to handle Abraham Lincoln’s ghost and you can now visit the Ghost of Lincoln at the Ghostbusters headquarters in the containment center.



That will do it for this weeks breaking news story next week we will be discussing an E.T. sighting in Sasha and Malia’s toy closet!

Roman Polanski’s Cycle of Hell

Many know of the famous director’s recent arrest at the Zurich airport while trying to enter Sweden, but how many know about his unfortunate, but twisted past?
He was born in 1933 in Paris, France, but soon moved with his parents to Poland. When Poland was invaded by Nazi Germany. He and his parents were captured and sent to a concentration camp. He escaped and his father survived the war, but his mother was killed.
Next Main Point: He marries his second wife Sharon Tate in 1968 and she soon becomes pregnant.
Next Main Point: In 1969 Sharon Tate and her 8 1/2 month old baby is murdered by Charles Manson’s bat shit crazy followers.
Next Main Point: Of course people deal with grief in different ways, but Polanski decided to sexually assault a 13 year- old girl named Samantha Gailey at none other than actor Jack Nicholson’s house, he wasn’t home at the time. He was so upset that he broke his own door down with an ax. <Not really [see "The Shining"]
Next Main Point: He pleaded guilty to “engaging in unlawful intercourse with a minor” and when threatened with imprisonment he fled to London to avoid the constant rapage that he would endure. (February 1, 1978)
Next Main Point: A day later he fled to France where he was to continue making films.
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SKIP OF FEW STEPS
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Next Main Point: The bloody glove was then found and was a vital piece of evidence.
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SKIP A FEW STEPS
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Next Main Point: It turns out that O.J. Simpson actually did do it!
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SKIP A FEW STEPS
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Next Main Point: Saddam Hussein was staying in O.J. Simpson’s guest house!
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SKIP A FEW STEPS
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Next Main Point: It turns out that the War in Iraq was right!
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SKIP A FEW STEPS
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Conclusion: Roman Polanski was arrested on September 26, 2009 at the Zurich airport by Swiss police while he was on his way the Zurich Film Festival where he was to receive an award.
Can you say hook, line, and sinker!!

AhhhhhhhMedinejad!

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I do love hearing about Steve Carell…….

I mean Ahmedinejad in the news.



This is a quote from the movie “Training

Day” and I feel that the quote is saying

what Ahmedinejad would love to say.

Maybe he will on the next episode of “The

Office.”


Left is Ahmedinejad and right his twin


brother Steve Carell.

Hello world!

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Hello world! Many people often use the phrase, “The world is a scary place” and in some cases it is, but more commonly found than fear is humor and let me tell you, I love humor. I’m here to take serious and possibly frightening situations reported in the news or elsewhere and possibly from my own life and make you smile about them. So join me on making the world one big extremely offensive joke book.